“Women need solitude in order to find again the true essence of themselves.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh
I've had the intention of writing this post for some time now, but with humanity little by little stepping into isolation in a way reminiscent of a dystopian movie, this post is oddly on topic.
Perhaps it's isolation that gave me the time and mental space to sit down and write this. I'm on my third day of isolation, at a time when I want to be out enjoying spring and meeting friends and embracing life in a city where I haven't quite settled yet. But truthfully, I spent most of the winter in isolation.
Last September I reached a milestone, something which I always expected to happen earlier in life (at least before the age of 29), but life went down a different road. At an age when I expected to be married and a mother, instead my milestone was a rite of passage that I always longed to do before I had a family of my own: I moved into an apartment, by myself.
I hear some people don't like the idea of living alone, but for me it was always something I wanted to do, to spend a while living completely independently, with space to myself for reading and writing and creating, a space with my own mark on it. And while my mum asks every weekend if I'm going to go out and socialise, the truth is that after a busy week working with people it's nice to embrace the solitude, and I like to spend time in my home and enjoy my own company. It's a place where I can truly relax, take my time and recharge. If I want to eat dinner for breakfast and cake for dinner then I can. If I want to go out after work, nothing is stopping me. If I want to walk around wearing a ridiculous face mask, dance to cheese and sing terribly, there is no one to pass judgement. And if I want to write a blog post at one o'clock on a Tuesday morning, I can also do that.
Another thing people ask is “have you got a boyfriend yet?” But when I tell them that no, I don't want that right now, a lot of people look at me weird. I spent the larger part of a decade in and out of relationships, and while I am lucky to have shared some wonderful experiences with partners, right now I don't want to share my time or my space with another person. It's nice to just be me and do my own thing. Occasionally the thought of dating crosses my mind, and then when I think about how much time and effort I'd have to put in, I'm just not interested. Sure, relationships are nice, but I'm not ready for that again, not yet. And as someone who was always “in a relationship” or had just got out of a relationship, or was “with someone”, it's refreshing to have freedom to go where I want and do what I want, or just stay in.
When I look around my apartment, I see me. I see what I've worked for, what I've created. I see my tastes and the things I like. And I enjoy spending time here and getting to know myself. So while I'm on day 3 of isolation and a bit worried about being cut off from people for the next week, or maybe two, or three, I am also looking on the bright side. Being alone can be lonely, but it is also the perfect opportunity to connect with yourself, to know yourself and to do things that you can't do with another person present. And at the age of 29 I'm glad I'm finally able to do this thing for myself, before I no longer have the chance to do things for myself.
Stay safe and embrace the solitude, friends, because spending time with yourself can be the best way to get to know You.
Thanks for reading.
Berlin, Germany, March 2020
Showing posts with label Positivity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Positivity. Show all posts
Tuesday, 17 March 2020
Tuesday, 24 July 2018
Morning Mantras
My last post was about healing and achievements and confidence, and I'm pleased to say that things have only gone uphill since then. The achievements I talked about in my last post were a huge turning point for me. I surprised myself at how well I was doing, and did things I never thought I could do, and these achievements have given me such a huge confidence boost that I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. But it's not all plain sailing. There are days when I don't want to get up early, don't want to go to work, don't feel like making an effort. I've got to be honest, I'm not a morning person and I spend most days wishing it were a Sunday where I can have a lie in and stay in with a cup of tea and a good book. But part of my confidence boost has involved a morning ritual where, by the time I arrive at work, I'm not only ready to face the day, but I'm determined to smash it. And since this has worked for me, I wanted to write this post in the hope that someone might take something away with them that would make their daily grind more positive and productive.
Most mornings I start my day by mentally swearing at my alarm clock. Some days I might even swear at it out loud. Admittedly, it's not the most graceful or positive way to start the day, and I would love to be one of those people who wakes up with a smile on their face or meditates or does yoga. I'm afraid I'm not that serene, but maybe I will be someday! I proceed to grumble through the next hour as I get ready, and grumble at the bus which never seems to arrive at a time that suits me. But once I'm on that bus, my positivity ritual begins. And this ritual is something so simple: music. I listen to whatever my mood fancies at first, and then once I get to my destination, I have to wait around for half an hour before I can go into work. So I walk, and on my walk, I play my positivity playlist. Some are "can do" songs. Others are simply upbeat tunes. My favourites are girl power anthems (feminist alert, we can do it, girls!). But one song has helped me most of all. It's an old song, one I never really identified with much in the past. You'll know it. It's Titanium by David Guetta, featuring Sia. I first started listening to this song on a day when I really wasn't feeling great. The previous day someone had really tried to put me down and make me feel small, and I was taking it to heart. But then that song came up randomly on shuffle and it was like I grew a second skin, or should we say armour? I reminded myself what I have achieved, what I can do, and I was determined that I was going to have a damn good day and I was going to continue to be awesome and continue to achieve great things.
Titanium is my morning mantra. I am titanium. I am, and I will keep telling myself that. Your song might be something else, or your mantra might not even be musical. It could be a quote, or a poem, or even just a word or a state of mind. It's hard to be good to ourselves and tell ourselves that we're great and strong and we can do incredible things. It's hard to love ourselves. But it's important that we do, because at the end of the day it's the voice in our mind that we listen to. Teach that voice to tell us positive things, and don't let outside influences affect your confidence and your abilities in a negative way.
Find your mantra. Find your morning ritual that is going to help you to be confident and do great things. You can do it, you've got this <3
Wirral, UK, July 2018
Most mornings I start my day by mentally swearing at my alarm clock. Some days I might even swear at it out loud. Admittedly, it's not the most graceful or positive way to start the day, and I would love to be one of those people who wakes up with a smile on their face or meditates or does yoga. I'm afraid I'm not that serene, but maybe I will be someday! I proceed to grumble through the next hour as I get ready, and grumble at the bus which never seems to arrive at a time that suits me. But once I'm on that bus, my positivity ritual begins. And this ritual is something so simple: music. I listen to whatever my mood fancies at first, and then once I get to my destination, I have to wait around for half an hour before I can go into work. So I walk, and on my walk, I play my positivity playlist. Some are "can do" songs. Others are simply upbeat tunes. My favourites are girl power anthems (feminist alert, we can do it, girls!). But one song has helped me most of all. It's an old song, one I never really identified with much in the past. You'll know it. It's Titanium by David Guetta, featuring Sia. I first started listening to this song on a day when I really wasn't feeling great. The previous day someone had really tried to put me down and make me feel small, and I was taking it to heart. But then that song came up randomly on shuffle and it was like I grew a second skin, or should we say armour? I reminded myself what I have achieved, what I can do, and I was determined that I was going to have a damn good day and I was going to continue to be awesome and continue to achieve great things.
Titanium is my morning mantra. I am titanium. I am, and I will keep telling myself that. Your song might be something else, or your mantra might not even be musical. It could be a quote, or a poem, or even just a word or a state of mind. It's hard to be good to ourselves and tell ourselves that we're great and strong and we can do incredible things. It's hard to love ourselves. But it's important that we do, because at the end of the day it's the voice in our mind that we listen to. Teach that voice to tell us positive things, and don't let outside influences affect your confidence and your abilities in a negative way.
Find your mantra. Find your morning ritual that is going to help you to be confident and do great things. You can do it, you've got this <3
Wirral, UK, July 2018
Sunday, 29 April 2018
Healing
Dear little blog. It's been a while, hasn't it? My life has changed quite a bit since my last post. I won't go into the story, but what I can say is that I've healed from some very old wounds, and for the first time in a long time, I feel so, so happy. Life isn't exactly where I want it to be, but that's okay, because the most important thing is that I'm on the right path, and I'm feeling so much more content thanks to that fact.
Feeling healed is like coming up for air when you've stayed under water too long, or like stepping outside on a crisp, sunny morning when you've been shut up indoors for a long time. There are still days when those old wounds creep up and remind me that they're still there, giving me aches and pains. Guilt, regret, the occasional stab of bitterness... but they're old wounds, old scars that may or may not fade, and when I can focus so easily on the positives, those negative feelings are becoming easier and easier to ignore.
But there's a special reason I really wanted to write this post. I want to talk about achievements, and about surprising yourself when you discover that you have abilities and strength that you never knew you had. When you're hurting and unhappy for a long time, it's like you don't really know yourself. You forget who you are, forget your path, and forget the person you told yourself you would become when you were innocent and believed that your dreams would come true. Suddenly, when I finally came up for air and blinked the water from my eyes, I could see the woman I've become. I could see that I have passion, and drive, and that I'm braver than I realised. I can do things that as a school girl I always wished I could do, and believed I never could. I'm the person I wanted to be, and so much more. And while I'm not in the place that school girl me thought I would reach by my late twenties, I'm on my way there, and that's the most important thing.
These past months have been challenging but surprising, and this week especially I've achieved things that I never thought I could achieve, and this has caused me to reflect on how far I've come. I've blown my mind with the things I've done this week and these past months, and to some people those might not seem like big things, but to me they're huge leaps that I didn't realise I was brave enough to take. I've surprised myself so much with my abilities and achievements that I'm wondering who I am and how I've done it. But the truth is, while I've been hurting and healing, the woman I am now has always been somewhere deep inside me, working hard and absorbing knowledge and developing new ideas and abilities that are now stepping into the light.
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I know that now. And if you are where I was, stay strong and believe in yourself. You will make it through and you will be surprised and overjoyed to meet the person you are going to become.
Sending love and healing vibes,
Naomi
Wirral, UK, April 2018
Feeling healed is like coming up for air when you've stayed under water too long, or like stepping outside on a crisp, sunny morning when you've been shut up indoors for a long time. There are still days when those old wounds creep up and remind me that they're still there, giving me aches and pains. Guilt, regret, the occasional stab of bitterness... but they're old wounds, old scars that may or may not fade, and when I can focus so easily on the positives, those negative feelings are becoming easier and easier to ignore.
But there's a special reason I really wanted to write this post. I want to talk about achievements, and about surprising yourself when you discover that you have abilities and strength that you never knew you had. When you're hurting and unhappy for a long time, it's like you don't really know yourself. You forget who you are, forget your path, and forget the person you told yourself you would become when you were innocent and believed that your dreams would come true. Suddenly, when I finally came up for air and blinked the water from my eyes, I could see the woman I've become. I could see that I have passion, and drive, and that I'm braver than I realised. I can do things that as a school girl I always wished I could do, and believed I never could. I'm the person I wanted to be, and so much more. And while I'm not in the place that school girl me thought I would reach by my late twenties, I'm on my way there, and that's the most important thing.
These past months have been challenging but surprising, and this week especially I've achieved things that I never thought I could achieve, and this has caused me to reflect on how far I've come. I've blown my mind with the things I've done this week and these past months, and to some people those might not seem like big things, but to me they're huge leaps that I didn't realise I was brave enough to take. I've surprised myself so much with my abilities and achievements that I'm wondering who I am and how I've done it. But the truth is, while I've been hurting and healing, the woman I am now has always been somewhere deep inside me, working hard and absorbing knowledge and developing new ideas and abilities that are now stepping into the light.
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I know that now. And if you are where I was, stay strong and believe in yourself. You will make it through and you will be surprised and overjoyed to meet the person you are going to become.
Sending love and healing vibes,
Naomi
Wirral, UK, April 2018
Monday, 21 September 2015
Soul Vacation
It's not been a great British summer. We've had sunny days, but those days have mostly fallen when I've been busy or at work. But I managed to tolerate the not so great weather knowing that I would be jetting off to Spain in September. And now, now that the holiday is over and done with, it's not just sunshine that I've enjoyed. I've enjoyed simple pleasures that all too often get forgotten about in day-to-day life.
Who knew something so simple as drinking a morning cup of tea on the balcony could be so lovely? Especially with a view of the sea, a light breeze and sounds of holiday activity. And then, if seeing the sea from afar isn't enough, having a wander down to the beach after breakfast to dip your toes in the water, or taking a walk along the prom or into town, with no time constraints, no obligations.
Freedom was certainly the theme of the holiday, like being able to sit around reading for as long as I wanted, or eat whatever I wanted, whether that's refreshing fruit and salad or something a little more naughty (cake anyone?). And this freedom can only come when you are spending time with friends and loved ones who are happy to enjoy the same things as yourself, and I'm thankful for that.
As well as freedom, I've been reminded not just of the simple things, but of things I grew up loving. We have all this digitally enhanced pop music on the radio these days, but there is nothing more beautiful than raw, live music, a guitar and a voice, whether that be blues, jazz or flamenco. One of the best nights of the 10 days was when a male and female duo got up on stage to entertain us with some typical flamenco. Stunning guitar and a passionate voice got everyone up dancing and clapping along to the music.
And then you have the things man never made: the mountains of the Sierra Nevada, the ever-changing sky... and the sea. Always the sea. You could go back to your home town and buildings could have been knocked down, parks dug up, friends and local businesses gone, but the sea will always be both the same and constantly changing.
They talk about soul vacations. I always thought a soul vacation is going to some far-flung destination and seeing things you've never seen before. But I've realised that sun, sea and time to reflect and relax is sometimes all the food the soul needs.
Norwich, UK, September 2015
Who knew something so simple as drinking a morning cup of tea on the balcony could be so lovely? Especially with a view of the sea, a light breeze and sounds of holiday activity. And then, if seeing the sea from afar isn't enough, having a wander down to the beach after breakfast to dip your toes in the water, or taking a walk along the prom or into town, with no time constraints, no obligations.
Freedom was certainly the theme of the holiday, like being able to sit around reading for as long as I wanted, or eat whatever I wanted, whether that's refreshing fruit and salad or something a little more naughty (cake anyone?). And this freedom can only come when you are spending time with friends and loved ones who are happy to enjoy the same things as yourself, and I'm thankful for that.
As well as freedom, I've been reminded not just of the simple things, but of things I grew up loving. We have all this digitally enhanced pop music on the radio these days, but there is nothing more beautiful than raw, live music, a guitar and a voice, whether that be blues, jazz or flamenco. One of the best nights of the 10 days was when a male and female duo got up on stage to entertain us with some typical flamenco. Stunning guitar and a passionate voice got everyone up dancing and clapping along to the music.
And then you have the things man never made: the mountains of the Sierra Nevada, the ever-changing sky... and the sea. Always the sea. You could go back to your home town and buildings could have been knocked down, parks dug up, friends and local businesses gone, but the sea will always be both the same and constantly changing.
They talk about soul vacations. I always thought a soul vacation is going to some far-flung destination and seeing things you've never seen before. But I've realised that sun, sea and time to reflect and relax is sometimes all the food the soul needs.
Norwich, UK, September 2015
Thursday, 6 August 2015
Shine Like The Sun
You know how it is: you're excited to start a new job, you have the initial exhaustion and nerves and learning, and then the newness wears off and you're faced with routine. And then it's a different type of exhaustion, it's that frustration of never having the time or energy for doing things you want to get done. Suddenly the only thing you seem to have any energy for in the evenings is vegging out on the sofa watching telly that you don't even enjoy.
That's how it's been for me these past three weeks. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have a job, but being thrown back into full time work combined with tax issues, a spot of homesickness and having to run my own home have taken it out of me. And so, last Thursday, I had gotten myself into a real grump. Fortunately, I had someone there to listen and give hugs, and d'you know what? Getting it off my chest was exactly what I needed to do. I suddenly felt much lighter, and I told myself I had to stop being miserable and start being happy. So, that evening, after Chinese takeaway (comfort food does wonders), I sat down with my journal which, as mentioned a few posts back, I've been keeping especially to remind me of good times I've had. I set to work catching up on it, but not before glancing back at what I wrote during my last few weeks in Hamburg. And it took me back to a promise I made to myself, which had since been pushed to the back of my mind with all my moving and reluctance to leave Germany. I felt so surrounded by lovely people who thought highly of me, and I realised I wanted to be that person they saw me as, inside as well as out. Not the nervous little mouse paranoid that I was a nuisance, an annoyance, and that nobody liked me, but instead the smiley, cheerful girl that the people in Germany had come to know me as. And one comment stuck out in particular: one of the most loving and selfless ladies I've ever met told me I shined like the sun, and to keep shining. And so I made my promise, I told myself I would feel like that person they described.
So, on Thursday, I told myself to stop being grumpy for no real reason (and honestly, there was no real reason, just a few little things that I was allowing to get to me) and that from now on I will remind myself to stay cheerful and grateful, and to keep repeating positive mantras. I'm in a new chapter of my life and I have lots of things to appreciate, and just because I don't have much time on my hands to do things I enjoy (reading, writing, being creative, for example) doesn't mean I can't make time. Life is good, it's high time I shine inside as well as out.
Norwich, UK, August 2015
That's how it's been for me these past three weeks. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have a job, but being thrown back into full time work combined with tax issues, a spot of homesickness and having to run my own home have taken it out of me. And so, last Thursday, I had gotten myself into a real grump. Fortunately, I had someone there to listen and give hugs, and d'you know what? Getting it off my chest was exactly what I needed to do. I suddenly felt much lighter, and I told myself I had to stop being miserable and start being happy. So, that evening, after Chinese takeaway (comfort food does wonders), I sat down with my journal which, as mentioned a few posts back, I've been keeping especially to remind me of good times I've had. I set to work catching up on it, but not before glancing back at what I wrote during my last few weeks in Hamburg. And it took me back to a promise I made to myself, which had since been pushed to the back of my mind with all my moving and reluctance to leave Germany. I felt so surrounded by lovely people who thought highly of me, and I realised I wanted to be that person they saw me as, inside as well as out. Not the nervous little mouse paranoid that I was a nuisance, an annoyance, and that nobody liked me, but instead the smiley, cheerful girl that the people in Germany had come to know me as. And one comment stuck out in particular: one of the most loving and selfless ladies I've ever met told me I shined like the sun, and to keep shining. And so I made my promise, I told myself I would feel like that person they described.
So, on Thursday, I told myself to stop being grumpy for no real reason (and honestly, there was no real reason, just a few little things that I was allowing to get to me) and that from now on I will remind myself to stay cheerful and grateful, and to keep repeating positive mantras. I'm in a new chapter of my life and I have lots of things to appreciate, and just because I don't have much time on my hands to do things I enjoy (reading, writing, being creative, for example) doesn't mean I can't make time. Life is good, it's high time I shine inside as well as out.
Norwich, UK, August 2015
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