Morning Mantras

My last post was about healing and achievements and confidence, and I'm pleased to say that things have only gone uphill since then. The achievements I talked about in my last post were a huge turning point for me. I surprised myself at how well I was doing, and did things I never thought I could do, and these achievements have given me such a huge confidence boost that I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. But it's not all plain sailing. There are days when I don't want to get up early, don't want to go to work, don't feel like making an effort. I've got to be honest, I'm not a morning person and I spend most days wishing it were a Sunday where I can have a lie in and stay in with a cup of tea and a good book. But part of my confidence boost has involved a morning ritual where, by the time I arrive at work, I'm not only ready to face the day, but I'm determined to smash it. And since this has worked for me, I wanted to write this post in the hope that someone might take something away with them that would make their daily grind more positive and productive.

Most mornings I start my day by mentally swearing at my alarm clock. Some days I might even swear at it out loud. Admittedly, it's not the most graceful or positive way to start the day, and I would love to be one of those people who wakes up with a smile on their face or meditates or does yoga. I'm afraid I'm not that serene, but maybe I will be someday! I proceed to grumble through the next hour as I get ready, and grumble at the bus which never seems to arrive at a time that suits me. But once I'm on that bus, my positivity ritual begins. And this ritual is something so simple: music. I listen to whatever my mood fancies at first, and then once I get to my destination, I have to wait around for half an hour before I can go into work. So I walk, and on my walk, I play my positivity playlist. Some are "can do" songs. Others are simply upbeat tunes. My favourites are girl power anthems (feminist alert, we can do it, girls!). But one song has helped me most of all. It's an old song, one I never really identified with much in the past. You'll know it. It's Titanium by David Guetta, featuring Sia. I first started listening to this song on a day when I really wasn't feeling great. The previous day someone had really tried to put me down and make me feel small, and I was taking it to heart. But then that song came up randomly on shuffle and it was like I grew a second skin, or should we say armour? I reminded myself what I have achieved, what I can do, and I was determined that I was going to have a damn good day and I was going to continue to be awesome and continue to achieve great things.

Titanium is my morning mantra. I am titanium. I am, and I will keep telling myself that. Your song might be something else, or your mantra might not even be musical. It could be a quote, or a poem, or even just a word or a state of mind. It's hard to be good to ourselves and tell ourselves that we're great and strong and we can do incredible things. It's hard to love ourselves. But it's important that we do, because at the end of the day it's the voice in our mind that we listen to. Teach that voice to tell us positive things, and don't let outside influences affect your confidence and your abilities in a negative way.

Find your mantra. Find your morning ritual that is going to help you to be confident and do great things. You can do it, you've got this <3

Wirral, UK, July 2018

Writing that breathes.

Any writers reading this may or may not have heard of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), when crazy people like myself embark on a mission to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. People have laughed and called me mad, but I assure you it's possible. I've done it three times and I am determined that this year I'll add another trophy to my fictional shelf. But I'm not here to talk about Nanowrimo, because you may already know what it is, and if you don't, I recommend you head over to nanowrimo.org to get the low down on this crazy yet exhilarating writing activity.

What I'm here to talk about is the character who will finally be getting her own novel this November.

Before I start, I have a couple of confessions to make. Confession number one, I used to be a regular online role player and fanfiction writer (don't ask to see my fanfiction, it's terrible). And secondly, the character I mentioned above was (you guessed it) originally a character created especially for a role play game. As embarrassing as I find it to admit to non-online friends that I used to role play, I've got to be honest, I wouldn't be the writer I am today without it. My first venture into RPing was full of Mary Sues, clichés and cheesy lines. But as I got older and more experienced, my writing improved. Most importantly, I stopped using RP as an opportunity to put myself into my favourite fictional worlds (that gets boring after a while) and started getting creative with characters.

The character in question had similar beginnings. She started off as a baddie, quite generic, a school bully, a spoilt brat. But eventually, I began to discover this character's reasons for being the way she was. Her dreams. Her fears. The things that make her tick. Suddenly, she went from being a generic baddie to a well-fleshed out character. So much so that she breathed on the page. She became so natural to write that she pretty much told ME what she would do in each situation, rather than it being the other way around.

After a while my RPing days began to look over, and I realised that I didn't want my best character to die with the site she had lived on for a number of years. So, six years ago, when I first heard about Nanowrimo, I tried to write her into her own novel. But the RP world was still too fresh, and much to my dismay, she fell flat and dull in the vague and pale world I tried to create just for her.

Six years on, now that the RP sites are well and truly buried, I've worked and reworked that world and the plots to go with it and I'm finally ready to try again. And believe me, I've never been so excited for Nanowrimo. I can't wait to write her and get to know her again. It will be like seeing an old friend after long years of separation.

So, as I wait impatiently for the 1st November, able to do everything except start writing, I'm talking about my novel and my character instead.

It's going to be a good November.

Happy noveling ;)

Norwich, UK, October 2015